Yes, the segment where I find strange things available online and ask YOU the audience…

“Why Would You Buy That?”

How is the game played:

I will list a series of products below. The person with the most unique need/use for at least two of the items listed will receive a free copy of either Utopiates or Crazy Mary graphic novel.

Let’s Begin!

1) Zombie Scented Cologne and Perfume.

created by Demeter fragrances, these bottles will make you smell like you’ve just crawled your way out of the worm-filled earth.

Zombie for Him: Think forest floor. Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth. A definite must-have for any
Man’s scent collection.

Zombie for Her: A slightly lighter version of the Men’s fragrance with a touch of Dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel for that feminine touch.

Retail Price: $20.00 for 1oz. bottle or $39.50 for 4oz. bottle.

2. ET Candy

Lets ignore the fact that some of us may have purchased this item in our youth strictly for the fact that it is filled with candy. Now that you are older and you know what a weenis is, would you still purchase such an item, or give it to your kids?

3. Pee Wee Herman Bicycling Suit

The name speaks for itself.

4. Snowballs: Cooling Underwear for Conceiving Men

The idea behind this invention is that your balls are too hot to keep sperm alive. Thus, if you freeze your nuts, you’ll have a better chance of knocking up the girl you love.  Created by Procreativity who are currently running a Kickstarter where $55 gets you the entire pack seen above.


5. Telenoid

Prof. Hiroshi Ishiguro of Japan created this device back in 2011 to attempt to mimic the experience of talking to a live person when on the phone. The Telenoid has a a cell phone built into it and it’s facial expressions and movements can be controlled by the person who is speaking through it. The person in posession of the Telenoid hugs the thing while they talk to the caller. Taken from


Ok, so here are your five candidates. You have one week to tell me why you would purchase  two out of the five. Make them good reasons. Whoever has the best ones will win a free book!